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It’s the start of wedding season! Have you been to a wedding? I am going to assume the answer is “yes.”
I can confidently say that the goal of someone having a wedding (after getting married to their person) is ensuring guests have a great time. So all else aside, this is your goal as a wedding guest: to have fun and not sweat the small stuff.
Here are some fun financial facts and advice about being a guest at a wedding.
Travel
This is the most expensive part of attending a wedding. In the U.S., a lot of people attend college and get jobs out of their hometowns. This normally means you travel for most weddings and other events.
According to The Knot, the average cost to attend a wedding in 2024 was $610. If it is a local wedding without the need for a hotel, I can’t imagine how it would cost $610.
What I do understand is how an out-of-town wedding can cost a guest who drove $840 or $1,680 if you flew, according to The Knot’s averages.
I don’t know about you, but this is pretty accurate for me! A recent wedding to the West Coast definitely cost my family of four over $1,500. It really is an act of love to pay $840-$1,680 to see your friends or family get married. <3
Side note: No one cares if the dress or suit you wear to a wedding is new or old as a guest.
Gift Giving
Gone are the days when newlyweds move in together after getting married and need help setting up a house. So, what do you get a bride and groom who probably already have what they need, and how much is appropriate? Here are some ideas:
- Anything on their registry!
- If you aren’t sure what to give someone and they don’t have a registry, you can’t go wrong with cash. It is nice to give cash with a suggestion on how to use it, like saying “go buy your coffees for the year,” or “date night to the movies.”
- Absolutely nothing. This might be a controversial take, but if you are traveling out of town and spending $800-$1,600 already, it is totally OK to give a card with well wishes and leave it at that. Some aren’t in the position to take on the cost of attending a wedding and provide a gift. I want to give you permission to go to the wedding. This truly is about you taking the time to celebrate with your friends and family, and you should never feel bad about not giving a gift.
- In polling my friends (mostly couples), we give between $115 and $200 a wedding. You really can give as much or as little as you want. I find it best to set a baseline for how much you give each wedding and then just stick to that.
- Can’t attend the wedding? Feel free to send a gift, though not necessary.
Just in case you were wondering, the average gift amount in a survey done in 2024 by The Knot was $150.
Would You Decline a Wedding Based on Cost?
I think it is completely reasonable to decide what is important for you to spend your money on. Weddings and other life events come with social and financial pressure. It is perfectly OK to decide to skip some events and go to others based on your current financial situation and goals. If you have to decline an invitation due to your financial situation, perhaps find a way in the future to take the couple out to dinner and enjoy some quality time together.
Some Odd Advice
I know it can be stressful navigating the etiquette, the travel, and the late nights. My last completely unconventional piece of advice is to carry a granola bar or fruit bar (nothing with poppy seeds) and shove it into the bride or groom’s mouth throughout the day. They forget to eat, and they don’t feel hungry, but they are. Trust me.
Hope this wedding season goes well for you as a guest!
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