Every dad seems to have strong thoughts on things like music, travel, and the thermostat. Mine is no exception. So, in honor of Father’s Day, I called my dad and interviewed him about his rules for life…
Travel
Travel somewhere new.
When you go to a familiar place, time runs at the same pace as it does at home. But when you don’t know what’s around each corner, time gets hugely extended. A day becomes a week, and a week becomes a month. Experiencing something new is very restorative. Sitting in a deck chair, or lying on the beach, that’s not my cup of tea; I’d rather stick pins in my eyes.
Get the window seat.
I like looking out the window and seeing people become ant-sized. I also like to be situationally aware; I want to see that the flaps went down as they should when we land.
Leave early for the airport.
Because of security, parking challenges, and the general embuggerance, I tend to allow 45 minutes of leeway.
Entertaining
Talk to wallflowers.
At a party, I like to talk to the wallflowers. Maybe they don’t know anybody there. My one skill, if you like, as a conversationalist is that I know a little about a lot of things. So, whatever it is, I’ll have a good time learning more from this person who knows all about the south pole of the moon or what it was like to grow up in this part of the world.
Listen to people.
Sometimes, in a conversation, the person is just waiting to get his next bit in. When someone is self absorbed, I feel sorry for them. There’s so much more interesting stuff than your single perspective. If you can’t see any other point of view, you’re really missing out!
No dinner music.
I’m an active music listener, so when music is playing — even in an elevator — I can’t not listen. Whether it’s Handel or Love or Taylor Swift, I turn it off while I’m with people.
Cars
Everyone should get a Honda Fit.
Every family in the country can be satisfied with a Honda Fit, and if you have a larger family, you get a VW Passat station wagon. It’s important not to buy a big car just for that one week a year when you carry all the children camping.
Drive gently on ice.
No sudden movements, be smooth as silk. You don’t need to go slowly, just be gentle.
Use climate control.
I remember the black Ford Taurus SHO I had in 1991 — the first car I had with climate control. I was thinking, I need a little more something, and I reached out to hit a button on the dash, and it switched before my finger got there. I thought, ooooh; and I was sold. In the winter, I set it on 69, and in the summer, 71. Otherwise, I never touch it; I could do no better.
Parenting
Name your child after they’re born.
We had names floating around before you were born. Your name initially was Lucy Claire, did you know that? But you have to meet the kid first, I really believe that. You can put that on my gravestone: meet the kid.
Answer your kids’ calls.
I always pick up when my kids call because I just like talking to them. I prefer to talk with them than I do probably anyone else in the world. And you guys don’t normally call with a problem, but if you do, I want to be ready.
Thank you, Dad! And please tell me: what are your dad’s rules for life?
P.S. A love letter to the stand-in fathers, and who do the kids in your life resemble?
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