For a comedy that was often reviled as dumb — “It’s impossible that a more inept, moronic or humorless show has ever appeared on the home tube,” wrote UPI critic Rick DuBrow — producer Sherwood Schwartz sure had some highfalutin ideas about Gilligan’s Island. He pitched the show as a “social microcosm” to CBS, a description he regretted since the network executives were worried that the comedy would be too “lofty.”
Schwartz had other literary allusions on the brain. After the show ended, he insisted his seven castaways were stand-ins for the Seven Deadly Sins, according to NPR. Faux intellectual nonsense, or is there something to it?
Here are the seven imperfect passengers stranded on Gilligan’s Island, paired with the Deadly Sin that each represents…
Gilligan: Sloth
Of all the castaway/deadly sin combinations, Gilligan and Sloth feels like a mismatch. While Gilligan can sometimes be seen resting in his hammock…
…the Skipper is usually right there underneath him. And when there’s menial work to be done, from fetching water to sweeping up the hut, the job is usually assigned to the S.S. Minnow’s first mate.
The Skipper: Wrath/Anger
This makes more sense, even if the Skipper’s violent nature made him difficult to cast. “I knew the Skipper would be yelling at Gilligan all the time and, as it turned out, hitting him on the head with his hat,” Schwartz remembers in Russell Johnson’s book, Here on Gilligan’s Isle. “I needed somebody who could sincerely play a Skipper who would remain lovable and warm” — even as he beat the crap out of his little buddy.
Mr. Howell: Greed
“There’s only one use for money and that’s to make more money,” says Thurston Howell III, a man who may have been the model for Mr. Monopoly. That sonofabitch is so greedy that he tells Gilligan about his marvelous dream: “I was foreclosing the mortgage on a lifelong friend that’s creating a poverty pocket right in the heart of Beverly Hills.”
Mrs. Howell: Gluttony
Lovey might be a better candidate for Sloth, as she and her husband, Thurston, do little else than lounge on bamboo chaises. But she’s covetous as well, heading out on a three-hour boat tour with a dizzying assortment of furs, jewelry, perfumes and frilly hats.
Ginger: Lust
Bull’s-eye. Movie star Ginger Grant was the castaway’s secret weapon, using her seduction skills to make peace with violent natives from other islands…
…convince a dictator to turn over his gun…
…and entice a Russian cosmonaut to surrender his space capsule.
Mary Ann: Envy
While sweet-natured Mary Ann wasn’t always guided by envy, she did admire the way the other men on the island — Gilligan, in particular — ogled the movie star among them. While wishing she could be more like Ginger, she stumbles and knocks her head, somehow becoming Ginger in the process. Unfortunately for Mary Ann, there’s only room for one sexpot on the island.
The Professor: Pride
Arrogant? Not precisely, but the Professor insists on speaking in academic language instead of like a human being. He explains to the Howells why he can’t dissolve glue: “Do you know what it would take? A polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide molecule!”
Get over yourself, dude.
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