In tonight’s new episode of Rick and Morty, “Cryo Mort a Rickver,” Rick and Morty go undercover on a colonizing cryoship to discover that Rick has a big schlong for an 11-year-old rich kid.
While Rick and Morty has never shied away from excessive, uncomfortable depictions of nudity, much like the Zigerion scammers of Season One, Adult Swim has proven itself unwilling to go whole hog as it continues to pixelate the prodigious genitalia of the series star. Nevertheless, Rick Sanchez is a man with few hang-ups and fewer scruples, eagerly diving in shvantz-first any time an adventure gets a little too schwifty for Morty’s taste, and, in tonight’s new episode, we finally learned the canonical, colossal reason why Rick is always rearing to go full Monty.
In “Cryo Mort a Rickver,” Rick impersonates the spoiled, prepubescent son of a wealthy alien family on a 200-year journey to find a new home world, prompting Rick’s new father to comment on James “Jimmy” Jamerson’s artificially aged antenna, “His penis is big now!”
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This, of course, prompts the question: Do all Ricks have big dicks, or is Rick C-137 the only remaining Rick in the Central Finite Curve who can brag about his portal gun?
After last week’s Rick and Morty episode, “The Last Temptation of Rick,” turned many viewers off with its over-the-top depictions of sex and nudity, “Cryo Mort a Rickver” is a comparatively demure entry — except for the scene in which Rick, not realizing that the rest of the colony cryo ship went to sleep in full space suits or that he had hopped in a pod located in the children’s ward, emerges from his “slumber” hanging some huge dong as alien children scamper about.
Upon meeting his fake parents, Doug and Karen, Rick plays the part of a confused 11-year-old suddenly stuck in an old alcoholic scientist’s body as the cryo doctor diagnoses him with rapid aging and gives him “a week, tops” to live. Doug and Karen, whom Rick would later describe as “golden retrievers,” don’t suspect anything’s amiss when they see a naked old man in their son’s cryo pod, but they find themselves impressed with what the years did to poor Jimmy’s silver spoon.
Given that this week’s humanoid aliens are shown to have nearly identical anatomies to us humans except for their pointy ears, we can reasonably assume that Rick has a commendably cosmic rocket by Earth’s standards as well. Now we know how Rick managed to bag Princess Poñeta — he’s hung like a CHUD.
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