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Many of us love a new way of labelling the people in our lives, and over the past few months you might have noticed rising interest in “dark empaths”. “They seem sensitive and caring – but really they just want to manipulate you,” The Guardian recently wrote, while TikTok influencers frequently declare it to be “the most dangerous personality type”.
This month, a reader asked me to clarify the science behind the buzzword. What characterises a dark empath? And how would we know if we meet one?
The concept arose from research examining the so-called dark triad of personality traits: psychopathy (callous, anti-social behaviour), narcissism (excessive self-interest and entitlement) and Machiavellianism (a penchant for manipulation). For a long time, the dark triad was thought to coincide with a lack of care and concern about other people.
That changed with a landmark 2021 paper by Nadja Heym and colleagues at Nottingham Trent University, UK. Assessing nearly 1000 participants, they confirmed that many people exhibiting the dark triad lack the ability or inclination to place themselves in others’ shoes. But a significant subset – around 175 – had high levels of psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellianism, while nonetheless also doing very well on a standard measure of empathy. They reported being sensitive to how awkward others were feeling, for instance, and claimed that people’s emotional states had a strong effect on their own mood.
Heym and her team labelled these people “dark empaths”. Further analyses suggested these people tend to be less aggressive and more extroverted than their less empathetic counterparts, but they demonstrated considerably more hostile behaviour than the average person. The dark empath, the researchers concluded, “partially maintains an antagonistic core”, despite their gregarious exterior – a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The finding raises many questions. Psychologists distinguish cognitive empathy (the capacity to think through others’ point of view) from affective empathy (the visceral feeling that comes from seeing another’s emotions). It isn’t yet clear whether dark empaths show a preponderance of one over the other. Nor do we know how their behaviour differs from situation to situation.
While I am curious to know the answers to these questions, this research doesn’t yet tell us much about the ways to deal with these people. For now, I’d keep looking out for the classic red flags of toxic behaviour – such as attempts to keep you on an emotional knife edge through flattery and threats – and find ways to establish new boundaries. Labels like “dark empath” may sound sexy, but their actions are just as ugly as your garden-variety bully’s.
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