‘South Park’ Fans Have A Raging Clue About Future Paramount Owner David Ellison

You don’t need private detectives to figure out why South Park fans are currently furious at Paramount Global, Skydance and David Ellison. Young whippersnappers, put your clues away.

Right now, South Park isn’t streaming on Paramount+ outside the United States, a dozen new “controversial” episodes are rumored to be banned within it and the show’s creators are threatening legal action against Paramount Global and its prospective new owner Skydance. Meanwhile, Ellison, Skydance’s CEO and founder who happens to be the son of billionaire Oracle CTO Larry Ellison, is expected to make sweeping changes to Paramount’s properties, including CBS News, pending the approval of his Paramount purchase by President Trump’s FCC. Thanks to the Skydance-Paramount merger, the future of media may shape up to be much more government-friendly than it had been before the President sued 60 Minutes into an eight-figure settlement.

But for South Park fans, the “shitshow” merger between Paramount and Skydance, as Parker and Stone put it, has had more immediate ramifications on their ability to enjoy the iconoclastic series. For starters, Skydance has refused to allow Paramount to renew Parker and Stone’s streaming contract past its imminent expiration at the pair’s current asking price, and the South Park creators’ lawyers have sent a strongly worded letter to both media giants alleging interference in their negotiations with other streamers. 

With the premiere of South Park Season 27 delayed until July 23rd due to the merger madness, South Park fans have had to entertain each other in the interim, with no one earning as uproarious laughter as Reddit user SkankHuntThreeFidd who went viral with their post about Ellison, titled, “The Man in Charge of the Paramount Merger Looks Familiar”:

As long-time South Park fans will remember well, the Skydance CEO’s in-universe doppelganger is one-half of the fully-erect crime-fighting duo The Hardly Boys, a parody of the literary mystery protagonists The Hardy Boys, who spent more time smiling to each other about their raging, throbbing “clues” instead of trying to solve the “Mystery of the Urinal Deuce” back in Season 10.

Judging by how Parker and Stone have publicly mocked and derided Ellison’s move to acquire their parent company while blaming South Park’s recent speed-bumps on the unpopular merger, the Skydance don seems less likely to win the affection of the South Park fandom than the Hardly boys were to disprove the government’s official explanation for the events of 9/11.

And, if Season 27 doesn’t belatedly premiere on July 23rd, I can already shoot clue goo all over the not-detective whom I think South Park fan’s ravenous fans will blame.