Comedy

Rules Trump, Biden Must Follow During The First Presidential Debate

Before the first presidential debate of 2024, CNN has released a list of rules and regulations that both candidates must follow. The following are the guidelines that President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump must adhere to during their 90 minutes on stage.

  • No candidate may climb the chain link enclosure for any purpose.
  • Each candidate can ask moderators for up to three hints to get them through some of the really hard questions.
  • Pull the trigger once, then pass the revolver.
  • Tank top straps must be at least three fingers wide.
  • Any out-of-turn speaking will result a 10-yard penalty and their podium being pushed further offstage.
  • Do not let RFK Jr. inside no matter how much he swears he just “wants to watch.”
  • Candidates are permitted up to 30 seconds of continuous blank staring before forfeiting their turn to speak.
  • Five-slur maximum.
  • No coherent sentences.

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