‘One Tree Hill’ star Bethany Joy Lenz says ex-husband wanted her to quit acting

Bethany Joy Lenz spent a difficult 10 years as a member of Big House Family cult — but she was often able to take comfort in One Tree Hill.

During a visit to the Call Her Daddy podcast, Lenz opened up about her time in the insular Christian community, which she claims included a toxic relationship with her husband — a fellow group member whom she described as the group leader’s son. While her real-life marriage was far from perfect, Lenz admits that she occasionally found solace in her onscreen relationship, as Haley and Nathan (James Lafferty) became an it-couple on One Tree Hill. 

When host Alex Cooper asked if their relationship ever served as a form of “escapism” for the actress, Lenz didn’t hesitate to confirm: “Oh, for sure.” That said, Lenz clarified that the emotional reprieve had nothing to do with having a romantic connection to her costar.

“I did, yes, only in the moments when the cameras were rolling,” she explained. “And it worked with the story line —  I mean, Nathan and Haley had great chemistry, and so I leaned into it. But I thank god James and I were able to really maintain a totally professional relationship.”

She continued, “I always sort of saw him in real life as a brotherly figure, and he was lovely. So we never crossed that boundary, and I never had to worry about having feelings… That would have been really, really difficult, but no.” 

As for whether members of her small Christian community cared about her career as an actress, Lenz said it was only an issue for one person.

“Nobody cared except my husband,” she said of her ex, who she refers to as QB. “He hated it. But, he also wanted me to quit acting so I would stop making out with other guys.”

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Despite being opposed to the details of her career, Lenz said that QB didn’t mind how lucrative her gig on the hit teen drama became. During their marriage, Lenz claims the group took control of her finances — and and they had used funds from her bank account over the course of their marriage. Lenz was unaware because, despite her initial hesitations, the couple merged their bank accounts upon being wed.

“I just did the dutiful Christian wife thing and merged my accounts, and never did it occur to me, of course, that I was going to be taken advantage of,” Lenz shared. “It was more just that gut check of, like, ‘This is mine. I’ve been working really hard for all of this, and I’m not sure that I should just be randomly adding someone else’s name to the account.’”

She eventually came around to the idea by telling herself, “‘But I’m gonna marry him, so I guess it’s okay.’”

Lenz also noted that the culture surrounding the group made her husband’s controlling nature seem normal, as he was considered the “spiritual authority” in their household. 

“Spiritual authority, as far as I understood it in the group, it was that the man basically gets the last word on everything, and he gets the final say, and you really are not allowed to question him,” she shared. “You can’t question his decisions. You can’t know about deep intimate things in his life, he has to go to other men for that, but he’s responsible for you, and he’s supposed to know all the deep intimate things about your life. That’s how it was presented to me, but not in those words. Otherwise, I would have been like, ‘Y’all crazy.’”

Lenz would eventually leave the small Christian community in 2012, following the birth of her daughter, Rosie. While protecting her child was a huge motivating factor, Lenz also credits One Tree Hill and her costars with helping her detach from the group.

“I feel like a lot of the people there, whether consciously or subconsciously, knew that just their presence and being an encouragement and letting me know that they still loved and cared about me in spite of the fact that I was a little weird, that made a big difference,” Lenz said in November 2023. “It made me feel like there was a safety.”

Lenz previously said that the production schedule of One Tree Hill also had a role to play in saving her life, because it required her to be separated from the group for extended periods of time. She also said her costars would often try to intervene where they could. “For a while, they were all trying to save and rescue me, which is lovely,” she said on her Drama Queens podcast. “And so amazing to be cared about in that way.”

Lenz expands on her experience with the group in her book, Dinner for Vampires, which hits shelves on Oct. 22.  Listen to the podcast above for more from Lenz.