Thanks to the Wall Street Journal (and you know, the Crimes), the past week has been a nonstop barrage of information about Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged pedophilic exploits. Because a pervert and criminal is the President of the United States, we’re all collectively subjected to the nasty little notes nasty little men supposedly send each other. Late night has been eating well off the endless buffet of Trump-Epstein news, and The Daily Show is no exception.
Jon Stewart didn’t miss the opportunity to take plenty of shots at Trump and everyone tasked with covering the most recent development in the Epstein saga. A quick recap for those not following the play-by-play of Pedo-geddon: On July 17th, WSJ published the details of a letter Trump allegedly sent to Epstein for his 50th birthday, which reportedly included a “crude drawing” of a naked woman featuring details like breasts and pubic hair. The words were worse somehow. There was a script Trump supposedly wrote portraying a conversation between Trump and Epstein, which felt creepier than the serial killer monologues on Criminal Minds: Evolution.
So, WSJ publishes this letter. Naturally, Trump retaliates by filing a lawsuit against WSJ owner Rupert Murdoch and banning the publication from sending a reporter on the upcoming presidential trip to Scotland. All of this is catnip to outlets like MSNBC and CNN, which run wall-to-wall coverage on all of the salacious details.
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Stewart’s Epstein segment cut to several of these news clips, the funniest of which is Wolf Blitzer saying “public hair” as if he is physically and psychically pained by the act. After finishing reading the alleged letter, Stewart seemed ready to combust. “Every line in that card sounds like the password you have to use to get into the orgy in Eyes Wide Shut,” he explained.
Stewart went on to dismantle the numerous defenses the Trump camp has mustered against the latest spate of Epstein news. “It is troubling to me that Team Trump’s talking points are ‘he doesn’t even know that word’ and ‘he can’t draw’ and not ‘Why would anyone think he would write a creepy letter to a pedophile?’”
Later in the segment, Stewart cut deeper. “I guess in Trump’s mind, he doesn’t have to keep his promises to MAGA, as long as he continues to attack the people that MAGA hates,” Stewart argued. “That’s his get-out-of-jail-free card. Trump believes he has immunity as long as he remains a petty tyrant; only demanding liberal institutions surrender to his whims. And what’s crazy is, liberal institutions have.”
It was the perfect segue to Stewart’s extended reaction to the news that Stephen Colbert’s Late Show was canceled on the same day WSJ published the Epstein letter. It was during this segment that Stewart flexed his name-calling skills, dubbing Trump “fragile,” “vengeful,” “so insecure” and “suffering terribly from a case of chronic penis insufficiency.” (That one’s a reference to Trump’s swollen ankles, caused by chronic venous insufficiency.)
While his analysis of MAGA’s meltdown and the failed Team Trump strategy to believably dissuade speculation about his involvement with a world-famous child abuser was good, it was Stewart’s insults that packed the real punch. Trump doesn’t care if we believe him; he just doesn’t want us making fun of him.
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