‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Reveals the Original, Braindead, Paddy’s Pub Business Plan
In the second half of tonight’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 premiere double feature, “Frank Is in a Coma,” Mac, Charlie and Dennis end up being the ones with a medically concerning lack of brain activity.
Back in the very pilot episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, “The Gang Gets Racist,” Mac raged against the group’s decision to rebrand as a wildly successful gay bar, noting that part of the reason why he, Charlie and Dennis started Paddy’s Pub was to make it easier for them to get laid. Little did Mac know at the time that, 20 years later, he would be an out-and-proud gay man, and he and his business associates would be scheming to turn Paddy’s Pub into a global brand, which, apparently, they’ve wanted to do since the beginning.
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In “Frank Is in a Coma,” Mac, Charlie and Dennis return to their roots in a trio adventure that sees them try to woo the wealthiest residents of Philadelphia into turning Paddy’s Pub into “the Starbucks of dive bars” — complete with the drive-thru.
In “Frank Is in a Coma,” Mac, Charlie and Dennis used the opportunity of their bankroller’s sudden incapacitation to go to a swanky gala attended by Philadelphia elite and pitch their business plan to turn Paddy’s Pub into an international franchise chain. “Paddy’s was always supposed to be like a global brand,” Charlie told his co-founders.
“Like a Starbucks for dive bars,” Mac agreed.
Dennis added, “We’re bringing your friendly neighborhood watering hole to everybody.”
Notwithstanding the point that there is nothing “friendly” nor “neighborly” about Paddy’s Pub (and the fact that, as of last episode, the bar is “off water” entirely), the group’s ambitious plan for expansion had some unrealistic goals for new locations. Naturally, the trio wanted to open Paddy’s Pubs in airports and shopping malls, but they also planned to open a drive-thru Paddy’s, a Paddy’s in a school and a Paddy’s in a church.
Naturally, Mac, Charlie and Dennis blamed Dee and Frank for distracting them from their lofty business goals, but — spoilers ahead — upon realizing that the only potential investor dumb enough to drop serious dough on their “Starbucks for dive bars” idea was a junkie failson who knocked himself out with heroin while waiting for their pitch, the three partners returned to Frank who rightfully told them that their global franchise scheme is “a terrible idea.”
It’s not surprising that, back in the early aughts, a bunch of bar owners wanted to recreate the runaway success of Starbucks in the alcohol industry, but, considering that every back alley neighborhood already had a seedy, rat-infested dive bar run by alcoholic maniacs, a branded, homogenized alternative would hardly take off in every town, church and school in the world.
Plus, how is Paddy’s Pub supposed to become a global franchise if it can’t even win one measly award?
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