I’m a psychologist and here are 15 signs you’re suffering from childhood emotional neglect

A psychologist has revealed 15 signs you’re suffering from childhood emotional neglect.

Birmingham-based chartered psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, who is the author of High-Functioning Anxiety A 5-step Guide To Calming The Inner Panic and Thriving, said that among these signs are experiencing emotional numbness and having difficulty when it comes to setting boundaries.

In an Instagram post, the psychologist described how recovering from trauma people experience when they are children is not a straightforward process, and the way they feel can fluctuate from day to day.

She wrote: ‘Many of us are reacting from a place of childhood trauma and often don’t even realise it.

‘I recently talked with a client about how healing isn’t a straight path – one day, you’re on top of the world, and the next, you’re deeply triggered.’

This can manifest in various ways, according to the psychologist, who shared 15 of them with her some 160,000 followers on the platform.

These different ways ranged enormously, and some are perhaps unexpected, such as having over attachment to possessions.

The first sign you may be suffering from childhood emotional neglect Dr Suglani listed is having difficulty when it comes to recognising your own emotions.

Preferring to be alone and finding it hard to form close relationships was the second sign on her list.

Third, she said, is the practice of setting standards for yourself that are ‘unrealistically high’, and then when you don’t meet them, feeling inadequate.

Moving on, the psychologist noted that having a fear of asking for help and constantly doubting your worth and feeling inferior to others can also suggest you have trauma from childhood emotional neglect.

When it comes to doubting your worth and berating yourself over failure to reach overly high standards she listed another point, which made a similar point.

This was that you may push yourself excessively in work or other areas to gain approval.

According to Dr Suglani, experiencing emotional neglect as a child is likely to show up in multiple ways when a person is an adult (stock image)

Trust – or lack thereof – also made Dr Suglani’s list when it came to ways this treatment people endured as a youngster can show up when they are adults.

Specifically, she said a sign of could be that you are generally suspicious of people’s intentions – and find it hard to rely on them.

When it comes to conflict, the psychologist noted that people with this type of trauma may go out of their way to avoid disagreements.

In addition, Dr Suglani said, experiencing emotional numbness can be another sign. 

Meanwhile, you may find you prioritise others’ needs over your own.

This could be something you do in an attempt to gain acceptance and avoid rejection.

Moving onto her eleventh point, the psychologist said that those suffering trauma from childhood emotional neglect may find that they have difficulty when it comes to setting boundaries.

Another way this can manifest is in being overly harsh and critical of yourself – even going as far as replaying negative self-talk.

Relationships with others can also be affected, she revealed, insofar as you might keep your emotional distance, in an effort to protect yourself from potential hurt.

Referencing this more deeply in another post, the psychologist posted a video, alongside which she shared a caption.

In it she wrote: ‘Unresolved wounds from the past can shape how you interact with your partner, influencing your reactions, expectations, and how you handle conflict.

‘These unresolved issues might lead to patterns like trust issues, fear of abandonment, or difficulty with intimacy.

‘By not dealing with these traumas, you might unintentionally bring them into your relationships, where they can create challenges.

‘Facing and healing from these past experiences can help you build healthier, more fulfilling connections in your romantic life.’

Stating the point even more directly in the video, Dr Suglani shared footage of herself looking pensive, with a caption over the footage.

It simply said: ‘If you do not address your childhood traumas, your romantic relationships will.’

She then emphasised the point, adding: ‘Read that again.’

Moving on to the next sign on her list, she listed something that may be less expected than the other factors.

That sign was that those with this trauma might experience an over-attachment to possessions. 

Wrapping up her list, Dr Suglani said that those suffering in adulthood due to experiencing emotional neglect as a child may experience a ‘persistent sense of lack of fulfilment in life’.