Emotional Nation Gathers Outside Main Street TV Store To Watch Monster Truck Land On Smaller Truck

ABILENE, KS—Holding their loved ones close in astonishment as they witnessed the
history-making broadcast, an emotional nation reportedly gathered outside a Main Street television store Friday to watch  a monster truck land on a smaller truck. “Oh my gosh, I never thought I’d see something like this in my lifetime—honey? Honey, look at what Slingshot is doing,” said visibly overwhelmed 53-year-old Trey Rogers, tears welling up in his eyes as he, along with millions of Americans of all races, ages, and creeds, gasped at the sight of the 12,000-pound vehicle rolling over seven flaming pickup trucks to the tune of Guns N’ Roses’ “Welcome To The Jungle.” “Sweetie, don’t you ever forget this. You’ll tell your grandkids about this someday. Whenever someone asks if this country can still do great things, remember this wonderful truck popping a wheelie while going off a dirt ramp. God bless us all.” According to reports, the nation later averted its eyes and collective triumph turned to tragedy when an even larger monster truck smashed Slingshot.