Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 3 Episode 7 Serves Spider Bombs, DOJ Shakeups, and the Fall of Law School Evan
We’re in the endgame now, and Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 3 Episode 7 is done pretending it’s grounded in anything remotely resembling reality. And thank goodness.
“All the Devils Are Here” dives headfirst into chaos with a gleeful abandon that only a show barreling toward its finale can muster.
We’re talking bomb spiders, DOJ drama, Voit hallucinations, and — yes — Law School Evan. Remember him? You will now.
This isn’t a recap. It isn’t quite a listicle either. It’s a long-winded, WTFery-soaked review for a long-running series that just keeps upping the ante in the most ridiculous, glorious ways.
If you’re still watching, you’re probably into the psychopathy as much as I am. So let’s dig into the madness of it all.
Let’s Talk About the Spiders
Because yes. Of course we’re starting here. When a man keels over on the street and starts vomiting up spiders, it sets the tone. It lets us know that things are no longer escalating — they’ve escalated.
We’ve got multi-layered condom bombs stuffed with venomous spiders and force-fed via dental spreaders by a masked man who sounds suspiciously like Patrick Warburton. It’s one more hill to climb as your skin is trying to crawl off your body.
Garcia burns sage to combat the vibe. Voit nearly dry-heaves in real-time. And I, a seasoned viewer with a stomach of steel, briefly reconsider my profession.
As someone who once suffered a brown recluse bite, let me be crystal clear — this spider-stuffed fever dream hit a little too close to home. The callback wasn’t just gruesome. It was personal. We’ve officially entered the realm of prestige horror fever dream.
Red Flags Galore
Here’s the thing: red flags don’t just fly. They flutter. They wave. They scream. And this episode had them in spades:
- Cops riding up in the pitch black to find 2025’s oddest Spider-Man.
- Garcia, ever the enigma, burning sage while typing like it’s 2005 and she just discovered keyboards.
- Lawyer Jeff, aka the smug replacement attorney, whose refusal to actually help screams “about to die.”
- Law School Evan — yes, Rebecca’s ex — slinking into DOJ liaison duties like she wouldn’t notice. We all noticed.
- Tate (that poor bastard) calmly requesting messages be sent to his family and others while rigged to explode.
- Voit talking to Not-Cyrus via iPad and doing some real-world hallucinating while unraveling like an old sweater.
- The masked man’s voice? Sounds like Patrick Warburton. His son, Talon, is in the credits. Go figure. Either way? Nightmare fuel.
- Orlov, Voit’s slimeball Season 2 lawyer, is now canonically toast in a trailer. If that’s not poetic justice, what is?
- Did I mention the spiders were bombs? Spiders. Were. Bombs.
Voit’s Spiral Is Personal (And We’re Watching Every Turn)
Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 1 introduced us to Cyrus. Silas Weir Mitchell delivered an unsettling origin story that helped frame Voit’s spiral. But now? We’re watching Voit slip deeper into a warped version of his own trauma.
This time, the voice haunting him is filtered through tech — an iPad, no less — delivering messages that are part memory, part hallucination, and possibly deepfake.
Not-Cyrus is angry that Voit defected from the network and is possibly even angling to recruit him back. Or torture him until he breaks. It’s hard to tell.
Voit’s old lawyer, Orlov, is now dead thanks to this web of manipulation. The guy who once had all the power fell victim to the same psychological warfare he helped perpetuate.
That says a lot about how dangerous Not-Cyrus is — and how brilliant the writers are for weaponizing Voit’s conscience.
Voit still wants to help. But for how long? The BAU is relying on him more than they should, and every new “memory” pushes him closer to collapse. Someone better make a move — soon.
Tyler Still Deserves Better. But Luke and Garcia Get a Dosing
Let’s just make this a permanent section. Tyler Green remains the most emotionally available and underappreciated character on Criminal Minds: Evolution.
He carries the weight of the world, shows up on time, and still gets treated like the BAU’s errand boy.
At some point, the man deserves a break — or at least a group hug.
But Luke was up close and personal this time around. Tyler must have been so relieved, in an odd way. It’s not Luke’s first rodeo, though, so when Garcia’s tapity tap tapping on the keyboard didn’t stop (and maybe ignited) the spider bombs, he was there for her.
There’s not enough sage in the world to wipe that memory away.
Tara, Rebecca, and Law School Evan Walk Into a Garage…
…and what follows is pure chaos. Law School Evan, who never quite sat right with me (or Rebecca, let’s be real), gets murked in what has to be the darkest-lit parking structure in BAU history.
Rebecca and Tara are summoned to meet Lawyer Jeff in a shady “my place, not yours” turn of events. Tara gets shot. Evan drops. Rebecca survives.
So now the real question becomes: who knew they’d be there? Who wanted Rebecca alive and Tara wounded? Because that doesn’t feel like randomness. That feels personal, and it feels planned.
It feels like someone in the know.
And if that doesn’t make you nervous, you haven’t been watching closely enough.
Final Thoughts, and a Spider or Two
Before we close the file on Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 3 Episode 7, let’s take one last look at what’s actually unraveling here: a web so intricately spun that even the BAU can’t tell if they’re the spiders or the flies.
Law School Evan — aka Rebecca’s ex, aka the brand new DOJ liaison, aka parking garage casualty — was clearly targeted. But Rebecca wasn’t. That alone sets off every alarm bell I’ve got.
The killer wanted witnesses. Heanted the fear and the fallout. That kind of surgical chaos only happens when the plan comes from inside the house.
The good news — for now — is that Voit’s empathy is still active. He feels things. He’s disturbed by violence. But with every memory that returns, he looks more and more like a man being hollowed out from the inside.
How long can that last? Is the point of all this to see how far they can push him before he breaks again? And who is doing the pushing?
It’s like a tug-of-war for Voit’s soul, the literal angel and devil on his shoulder, both pulling hard — one with guilt, the other with purpose.
It circles back to the ties that bind and how fragile we all are beneath them.
Ronald Grabler was just a kid getting snacks one minute, and the next, he was a foster kid being tracked by a monster. If that’s the spark, what’s to say it won’t happen again? The roots of these crimes run deep, but the cracks start small.
Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 3 Episode 7 is peak WTFery with movie-level excitement. But it’s not chaos for chaos’s sake. There’s purpose in the madness. There’s trauma to unearth, loyalty to test, and legacy to dismantle.
And if Law School Evan, of all people, ends up being the cliffhanger that launches us into the final stretch? Well, maybe there really are devils here after all.
But what about you?
What was your state of mind as you watched? Did you read the synopsis on IMDB to determine Tara’s fate? Who released those, anyway?
Drop us a comment below, and let’s get this conversation started!
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