Comedy

CNN Cuts To Black As Hillary Clinton Rushes Debate Stage

ATLANTA—Leaving millions of viewers across the nation alarmed and confused, CNN reportedly cut to black Thursday as Hillary Clinton rushed the presidential debate stage. “The moderator had just asked Trump and Biden a question about Ukraine when suddenly the camera started shaking, and there she was,” said 38-year-old Emily Vanders, who was watching the first 2024 presidential debate at home with her husband when the former secretary of state was spotted scrambling onto the stage and lunging toward the two candidates. “There were some muffled screams, and then the broadcast was cut. I’ll never forget the look of terror in Trump and Biden’s eyes. I think she was going for the microphone, but who knows?” At press time, a blood-splattered Clinton was delivering a well-prepared response to the previous question as Jake Tapper cowered under his desk.


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