Charlie Day Weighs in on Charlie Kelly’s Literacy Level Following the ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’/’Abbott Elementary’ Crossover

During his court-ordered community service at Willard R. Abbott Elementary School, janitor, abortion survivor and adult illiterate Charlie Kelly hit a major intellectual milestone when he successfully read a children’s book about birds aloud to a first-grade class. He really should have been teaching them about the dangers of inhalants.

Back in January, the Abbott Elementary mid-season premiere “Volunteers” featured the Paddy’s Pub Gang from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia as they spent a week at the West Philly public school, disrupting the already tenuous peace that the teachers and staff enjoyed. While most of The Gang’s actions as they helped out their community — well, a community — were either unrelated to the success of the students or flat-out detrimental to the school day, the one feel-good story of the episode saw the teachers of the school identify Charlie’s literacy struggles and help him to develop a basic understanding of the written word.

Well, last night, during the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia panel at PaleyFest, Charlie Day clarified that the fans shouldn’t get too excited about his character’s achievements, since, at the end of the day, the only printed words Charlie cares about are on the side of a pressurized can:

Following the premiere of “Volunteers,” we predicted that Charlie Kelly would not continue to improve his reading skills despite the optimism of his teachers on Abbott Elementary, but I didn’t think that the backslide would be that quick. If Day’s comments are to be taken as canon, then the Dayman didn’t even make it to Nightman before blowing his few new synapses away with a deep breath of some sweet silver spray enamel.

Sadly for Charlie, this is exactly what had to happen for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia to stay true to itself. Just as Seinfeld stuck to its famous “no hugging, no learning” rule until the very end, the Paddy’s Pub Gang wouldn’t be the worst people in Philadelphia if they were capable of genuine character growth, and a mastery of the English language might cause Charlie to aspire to be more than an alcoholic, paint-huffing janitor living in squalor and eating milksteak.

Basically, the stupid teacher bitches can’t even make Charlie more smarter — nor should they.