4 Popular Phrases That Are Killing Christian Marriages

I sat across the small, circular table, gripping my warm coffee cup as “Michelle” told me her story. I was zoned in, but at any time, I could have stopped Michelle and volunteered to finish telling the rest of her story. As a marriage coach and pastoral counselor, I’ve heard it all before. Michelle’s version included some more theatrical elements previously untold, but the main script was the same. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall madly in love. God sanctions the boy and girl’s marriage. Boy and girl have two kids and shortly realize, thereafter, “they have fallen out of love” and “don’t feel called to be married any longer.” 

I don’t know if the questioning expression dripping from Michelle’s deep brown eyes beckoned my approval, understanding, or sympathy. I could offer understanding, sympathy, and empathy, but I could not get approval. 

“Michelle, what biblical reason do you have to divorce your husband?” I asked. 

She looked stunned. Her eyes searched the corners of the coffee house for answers before they returned to mine. “I just don’t believe all this conflict is healthy. It’s not healthy for us or our kids. I don’t think God wants us to be this unhappy anymore.” 

The problem with Michelle’s summation of her marriage and the problem with over 50% of Christian couples who divorce is a lack of understanding of God’s purpose for marriage. God is more interested in holiness than happiness. That does not mean he wants women in long skirts, no makeup, and at the beck and call of their husbands to their detriment. It does mean that He is constantly at work to make us more like His son than he is working to make us happy. Yes, marriage is one of God’s discipleship tools to sanctify and unify us. Happiness is a byproduct of obedience, not the precursor to obedience.

Because we live in a social media, snip it and tweet it in society, popular catchphrases can rage like wildfire in seconds. Some of these catchphrases seem sensible, but they are quite shallow. Here are four popular phrases that are damaging the purpose of what God intended marriage to be:

Photo Credit:  Image created using DALL.E 2024  AI technology and subsequently edited and reviewed by our editorial team.

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