So, what are we thinking? Will The Snake slither its way into your weekly viewing?
FOX has been committed to delivering reality TV. Given that they’ve scaled back on scripted shows, it makes sense.
We have already experienced some fascinating, albeit frustrating, developments with Extracted, but next on the agenda is The Snake.
Is it cringe? Totally.
For starters, I swear I listened to every word they were saying, but I still walked away clueless about the actual rules of this game. We have a gaudy snake necklace, a bunch of contestants comprised of personalities pulled right out of the reality television archetype playbook, and a sassy host.
Frankly, The Snake feels like FOX’s answer to The Traitors — a Temu version, if you will. All with a dash of classic MTV, VH1, or Netflix reality series that features people trying to hook up.
Begrudgingly, some of the funniest moments were when it felt like some contestants were on totally different reality shows.
Kailee, the cop who resembles a social media influencer (because she is), spent most of her time traipsing around in the police vest, hitting on hot men.
It was as if someone had told her she was on a dating show, not a competition with a $100,000 grand prize.
Unsurprisingly, Police Barbie didn’t make it far, but even I’m annoyed with her getting the edit of “hot, blond horndog.”
Her crush, boxer Brett, was giving off the energy that he fit better on Temptation Island instead.
Whereas the usual suspects take themselves too seriously, like Detective Derek, whose unsurprising arrogance is more obnoxious than endearing. It’s as if he wanted to be on Big Brother instead, but didn’t make the cut.
Why? Because they’ve mostly taken to casting influencer types, Alyssa, who leans so heavily into her OnlyFans shtick, I half expected them to zoom in on her as she made a pitch and hocked her page mid-conversation (actually, wait, she did that).
The Snake is so transparently reality television — you know, the type that has us writing think pieces about reality fatigue.
It’s as if the entire goal was to throw a random collection of the most unhinged and easily clashable personalities into a house together and give them a chance to secure a grand prize!
I’m talking about the opportunity to be on television, folks. Not money.
A good three-fourths of this cast is so blatantly the type who wanted to be on television that it’s a bit hard to look past the manufactured “try-hard” approach many of them are taking to fit a particular reality television archetype!
I half expect to see Unreal‘s Quinn King and Rachel Goldberg just barely out of the line of sight, whisper-shouting suggestions and orchestrating drama.
Some contestants are definitely there just to entertain viewers. Frank, our makeup artist, is the perfect person to spend more time running commentary in front of the cameras than having a chance to win.
My personal favorite is Bryan. He doesn’t miss an opportunity to remind us that he’s an ex-convict or brag about all of his heists.
Dammit, he’s fun. Is he totally unhinged for bragging it up with a detective? Sure, but he’s shaping who he is in the realm of the series with these antics. He’s entertaining every time he’s onscreen.
Shockingly, a bull rider named Cody made me check my own snap judgments. His appreciation for brunettes and his ability to see through the glaring casting decision to have so many picture-perfect blonde ladies was something worth giving him brownie points.
And he seems more adept than some of the other characters, but he can fly under the radar more. He may read people well. Plus, he generally feels like a real person playing whatever this competitive game is, rather than someone just solely wanting to be on television or take up screen time.
Pastor Jacob and Jake appear sweet at the moment, but they haven’t yet found their footing. And both of them definitely give off Golden Retriever in human form.
While many of the other characters, I mean, contestants, don’t feel as fully defined yet.
Except Kethyrn, of course, who is so audaciously The Snake’s villainess that it’s genuinely hard to believe that no one already sees through the fake tears that simultaneously clash with the Ice Queen thing she tries to do, too.
She outlines her evil plans and recites quotable reality villain lines as if she’s the Evil Queen talking to a mirror. It’s just so … much.
Is it too much? Undoubtedly, unquestionably, resoundingly yes. Am I still mildly intrigued by it? Kind of, yes. I can’t lie. I’m not a snake, after all.
It feels like The Snake went through a “How to Reality TV” Guide and checked every box. What makes even the trashiest of reality television so watchable is that we know it’s manufactured, but it doesn’t feel glaringly so all the time.
The Snake hasn’t settled into itself yet. The only thing we’re missing right now is actually seeing the crew and camera people skittering around and someone cutting and redoing takes.
And these poor contestants, playing caricatures of reality TV classic archetypes, aren’t yet as natural in their positions.
Hell, when you take a gander at their bios and read through the things they have accomplished and the common themes of advocating for mental health, inclusivity, being community-oriented, and so much more, for most of them, it doesn’t exactly translate to this silly little show about lies, deception, and manipulation.
It does speak to the unease some of them have in trying to maintain certain images. What the series expects from them may actually clash with their equally but differently curated images in the outside world.
Is the real Snake in this the series itself? I don’t know. Hell, I’m still just trying to understand the show’s concept.
Or if it’s watchable. Or if I’m the only one who feels like they tossed a bunch of random elements from reality shows into a blender to see what slithered out.
OK, maybe I’ll watch it again next week. I know; feel free to judge me.
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